The extreme left of the dial. Weird station that plays stuff like scratchy Delta blues records and esoteric chamber music. We have to assume that this coming from a low-wattage transmitter on like a college campus, but the DJs never seem to do a station ID or back-announce the music and there are often unexplained long stretches of silence.
Sports Talk Radio. Absolute assholes yammer in strident, didactic tones tones about sports, making predictions that never come true and saying crypto-racist code words about some players being "class acts" and others being thugs. If this station is playing, 100% of the time you are in a panel van going to or from a jobsite.
College radio. This station sometimes plays good music but the student DJs are constantly miscueing records and flubbing their station IDs and the announcements that they're forced to read. 75% of the time this station is playing Gorillaz.
Christian radio. This station's sole purpose is to trick you into thinking their playing a regular song that you've never heard until the vocalist says something like "praise him" or **** and you realize that you've been catfished.
Right Wing Radio. Absolute pieces of shit yammer in strident, didactic tones about their overtly racist, xenophobic beliefs. If this is playing you are probably going to or from work, probably like managing a verizon store at the mall, and there are definitely no black or latino people in the car.
Spanish language station playing highly overproduced reggaeton and bachata.
Hip Hop Station. Unless you are near a large urban area, this station basically just plays the same 5 hit songs on repeat in between depressing ads for personal injury lawyers and night school. This is the station that ONLY played "Wild Thoughts" for three months this Summer. The best time to listen to this station is on weekend nights when they have DJ mix shows, especially if you like hearing the beginning of every song 5 times.
Country Radio. This is actually just pop music now, but with an over-emphasized Southern accent and occasional slide guitar. The songs can sort of sound like rock, pop, or even EDM or R&B, but the lyrics are all about the concept of driving a truck for pleasure rather than transportation which apparently is thing people do? This station bills itself as playing "The Best New Country and The Legends", but don't hold your breath until you hear Merle Haggard or George Straight. The "Legends" they're talkin' about are Garth Brooks and the guy who sang "Way Down Yonder in the Chatahoochie".
Alternative Rock station. This station plays a genre that hasn't actually existed for years, but seems to fill the need of something to listen to for young white people that HATE RAP. So they keep right on playing songs that no one asked for like "Take Me Out" by Franz Ferdinand "Float On" by Modest Mouse and pretending that anyone in the world is interested in hearing a new song by Foo Fighters or Weezer.
Basic 101. The most basic station on the radio. This station is nearly constantly playing Maroon 5 or something that sounds like The Lumineers in between incredibly inane factoids about celebrities from radio "personalities" like Billy Bush and John Tesh. The best thing on this station is when the announcers give little household tips for their extremely dumb listenership, life hacks like "Don't touch hot pans" or "Thirsty? Try drinking water!".
The other Hip Hop station. This station plays most of the same songs as the other hip hop station but with more R&B slow jams by like Trey Songs. The demographic that this station is aimed at is black and latina nurses and dental assistants on their way to work. This station also plays "throwbacks", which are the same 3 songs from ten years ago that they update once a year.
NPR. During the week, this station is mostly harrowing news reports about bombings in Afghanistan and harrowing long form reports about female genital mutilation in Sudan from reporters with hyphenated last names. On the weekend you can thrill to the sound of audience members cackling wildly at the mildly-amusing-at-best quips on Wait Wait Don't Tell Me, or check out A Prairie Home Companion, which is 8 hours long and is basically an auditory tour of Hell. However, 90% of the time you turn on NPR it will be "Science Friday" and let me tell you, Science Friday is really fucking boring.
Classical Music. This station is always playing relentlessly perky violin or piano concertos. This is only acceptable to listen to if it is 9 AM and you are drinking a cappuccino and are about to read a newspaper. Otherwise, turn it off.
Another Country Station. This is exactly the same as the other country station. It is unclear why we needed two of these. What is this, Nashville?
Independent Rock Station. This kind of station can be found in every white utopia from Martha's Vineyard to Eugene, OR. They pride themselves on their independent spirit and the wide range of guitar-based Dad-centric music they play. It is staffed by guys with ponytails who hate Taylor Swift and are still trying to convince everyone that Elvis Costello is good. This station will lull you into a false sense of security by playing some decent, harmless indie singer-songwriter tune but then will always, for some reason, play Dave Matthews Band and kill your vibe.
Another NPR station. This is a different NPR station that comes from further away. It plays the same shows as the other station, at different times and doesn't come in as good.
Light Rock Station. This is light rock music with NO RAP that you can play in the office. NO RAP. The demographic for this station is Cathy, who likes to hear Richard Marx or the song "Walking in Memphis" while she sips breakroom coffee from a Garfield mug and sit back at her desk, imagining making love to Micheal Buble.
Another Spanish language station playing regional Mexican music.
Community Run radio. This station has the potential to play good music, but it always seems to be playing electric blues guitar, celtic music or zydeco. Stay away.
This station seems to always always be playing ads for Home Depot or Loews. No one knows what they actually play.